I'm loving Spotify. I recently started paying for the $5 monthly membership in order to get rid of ads and now I'm in love. It's what I use to listen to music all day at work, and I almost never open iTunes when I am at home because I'm always using Spotify instead. Maybe someday I'll take the plunge and import all my iTunes music into Spotify.
I'm loving that the U of A baseball team won the World Series!! Like my friend Matt said, we may not always go, but when we go, we win. The softball team on the other hand both goes often and wins often. ;)
I'm loving the craziness that is camp prep. There's always a few curve balls once we get this close to the real deal, but things are going relatively smoothly this year. Only 8 more days!
I'm loving Instagram. I always used to think it was just a way to make a simple picture look a hundred times cooler by adding a special effect to it. But in reality, it's like the picture version of Twitter mashed with Facebook, mashed with amazingness. If you have a smart phone, get the Instagram app! And make sure to follow me (mandymalmgren) so that I can follow you.
I'm loving that I'm only 55 days away from my trip to Philly! Having a vacation on the calendar (one that isn't just a 48-hour weekend trip) is the most amazing thing.
I'm loving how things are working out for the new Trek and Journey programs at Desert Sun Church. It's been a rough last few months for our group, and I'm pretty excited to see what God has in store for this new venture.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Mandy & Renee's Relationship Guidelines
This past weekend my wonderful friend Renee came to Phoenix for a visit. When you get two twenty something girls together for a weekend of hanging out you always know that fun times will ensue.
During multiple late (very late) night chats we realized that we both have a lot of the same thoughts and feelings about relationships, our experiences with them, and what we think is flawed about the system. So what do two girls who have similar viewpoints about relationships do when they stay up way too late talking? They make a list of 20 relationship guidelines, of course!
We polished up the list the next day during lunch, so without further ado, I give you….
There you have it, the list that two twenty something girls come up with when they stay up talking until 3 in the morning. I hope you enjoyed it. Even though we mixed a lot of humor into the list, it really does represent what we're thinking and feeling about this topic at this point and time in our lives.
We figure we'll turn this list into a best selling book one day, but we'll wait until we've successfully made it down the aisle before we do so. Gotta build up our credibility and all that y'know. ;)
During multiple late (very late) night chats we realized that we both have a lot of the same thoughts and feelings about relationships, our experiences with them, and what we think is flawed about the system. So what do two girls who have similar viewpoints about relationships do when they stay up way too late talking? They make a list of 20 relationship guidelines, of course!
We polished up the list the next day during lunch, so without further ado, I give you….
Mandy & Renee’s Relationship Guidelines
- Don’t like someone forever before making a move.
- If you’re having trouble making a move, do what the Indians used to do and play a flute outside of a girl’s teepee to express your interest. We learned about this at the MIM this weekend, and it’s apparently a very successful method.
- You don’t need to be financially set for life before pursuing a relationship. You don’t need a house, a large savings account, or even a generous cash flow. You DO need to be able to afford to support yourself, but quit sweating it beyond that.
- Guys, if you make less money than a girl, that’s not a deal breaker for her. What really matters is whether or not you make enough to support yourself, not whether or not you as an individual can do it better than she can do as an individual. A wife just needs to be taken care of, not trumped.
- Don’t get caught up with levels and which level you think you’re on vs which level they’re on. This can go both ways. It can be a problem both with thinking you're above someone else and also a problem with being intimidated by people that you feel are above your level. Most levels only exist in your head.
- Guys, if you’re not asking a girl out because you know your friend likes her and you’re trying to be a good friend, after six months if he still hasn’t asked her out, she’s fair game. This situation isn’t good for your friend and is even worse for the girl because she’s not getting asked out by either of you.
- If your friend isn’t following rule #1, you should give him this list.
- You shouldn't lead someone on if you’re not planning to act. Flirting is a hard thing to define, so people’s interpretations of this point will vary greatly. You can only claim ignorance of your flirting abilities for so long before it’s no longer accidental flirting. And if you’re intentionally flirting, be ready to follow through!
- A guy asking a girl on a date does not mean he’s asking her to marry him. Without a doubt, relationships should have a focus and a purpose. But how are people ever going to end up in relationships if asking a girl on a date always seems to equate to something more than that? Let the simple act of asking a girl out on a date be just that, a simple act. And girls, don't start planning the wedding on the first date.
- Girls, unless there’s a serious reason not to, always be willing to go on a 1st date. If you’re sure you aren’t interested in him after that point, be completely honest with him. See rule #6. Being nice to the guy because you don’t want to hurt him will hurt him more in the long run.
- Girls, guys don’t care about your nail polish, how you did your hair, or what color shirt you’re wearing.
- We have been told that guys are suckers for a girl with the nice dash of perfume however.
- Some amount of awkwardness is OK. First dates are awkward. They just are! But a little bit of awkwardness is OK, plus it’s kind of cute. Even if you’re already friends, transitioning to a dating relationship can be a strange, so don’t let some initial awkward moments bring you down!
- After the 1st date, the guy should pick up the girl for the dates. Chivalry should not be dead!
- Always pray before meals. Chicks dig it!
- You should be able to date someone for a while, break up, and have things stay normal. We’re talking a short term dating relationship here, not a long term one. If you’re doing this dating business right, you should be able to go on a few dates, realize that it’s not going to work out, stop dating, and life should go on. No drama, no stress.
- If you don’t already know the other person’s stance on big issues, ask the tough questions within the first couple of months. While dating can be about having fun together, what’s the point of getting completely attached emotionally just to find out six months in that you completely ignored some deal breakers?
- The other person not being a solid Christian IS always a deal breaker.
- When red flags come up, make sure to address them immediately instead of holding onto a relationship because you’re afraid to be alone.
- You should be friends with each other’s friends. Your relationship should include hanging out with your main communities, not just with each other. And if your friends aren’t supportive of your relationship, something is wrong.
- For our younger readers…if you’re still claimed as a dependent on your parents’ tax forms, they need be aware of your relationship from day one.
- Texting should only be used for cutesy, flirtsy, non-serious conversations. All real conversations should happen over the phone or in person.
- Use those words of affirmation. Chances are if you’re dating someone you have positive thoughts about them. Make sure to verbalize them! Lots of worrying could be prevented if people just verbalized their positive thoughts more often.
- Your Facebook relationship status should not define your relationship. If you’re more excited to set your Facebook status to “in a relationship” than you were when you actually started the relationship, you might want to examine your motives. And sometimes holding off on being Facebook official has some nice benefits.
- Keep going on dates with each other regardless of how long you’ve been together. Dating, engaged, married, doesn’t matter. This one is more for the couples in well established relationships.
- The guy needs to make plans for dates, not just wing it and text her 5 minutes before. Spontaneity has its place, but so does initiative.
- It’s OK to be a loner! It’s the old cliché, “You need to be happy alone before you can be happy in a relationship.” But it’s true! Being content with the life God has for you is such a refreshing thing. Take a look at the big picture...if you're allowing God to work through you and your life, then your relationship status is irrelevant.
There you have it, the list that two twenty something girls come up with when they stay up talking until 3 in the morning. I hope you enjoyed it. Even though we mixed a lot of humor into the list, it really does represent what we're thinking and feeling about this topic at this point and time in our lives.
We figure we'll turn this list into a best selling book one day, but we'll wait until we've successfully made it down the aisle before we do so. Gotta build up our credibility and all that y'know. ;)
